There are many times when we are seeking approval from others for what we are doing. Sometimes this comes out of the mouth as asking someone if they understand. Just because someone understands how you are thinking does not mean they agree with it and what you are doing because of it.
Our minds are great tools that we have with us; like any tool, we need to know how to use it the right way. Our minds will make us see what we believe; this is why there is the saying that change your belief changes your life. The word belief is an emotion that comes from the heart, not the mind.
This aligns with shadow work; after all, shadow work is learning to control your emotions and mind. This happens when we learn to love the dark side of us. For what you are trying to resist, that is what we get more of.
There is another way, and this one seems to be a big one for most people. It is called a spiritual bypass. What do I mean by that? When all you do is think about happy thoughts and think your life is just great because you don’t want to see or know anything dark within your world. This takes a lot of energy, and when you think your life is good and you start to relax, that is when the old comes back more substantial than it has before.